I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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