Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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