Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
