I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
