shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
