her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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