He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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