Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Randomize
