I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She told me I should be a condom model.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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