My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
