if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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