i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's never too late to be topless.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
