her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
