Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
