i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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