the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
