Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
