Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
