just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I am midnight drunk by noon
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
