Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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