oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
