drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So vagazzling was a success
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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