Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
