Just mADE A PArabola og urine
and you said cock pushups were impossible
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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