Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
