A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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