Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
