Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
