I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
