tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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