she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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