That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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