Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
