she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You're a waste of cheezeits
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
