I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
