You can't motorboat a personality
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
