I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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