I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
