Duck Duck Cougar?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
