Whod you bang
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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