Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
