Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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