He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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