I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
