We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
