You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
