so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
