OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
well you can't waste a boner
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We're too hungover to prance.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
