Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
