Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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